Match 10 - Maldon Home
The final match of the season saw the visit of Maldon and expectations were high to complete a 100% record! Here's how it panned out (in match order - this is important later!):
1's Chris v Peter - Chris was always going to be up against it playing the World Champ. He was slow out of the blocks again, and the first two games passed by quickly. However, the third was much closer and despite still being hampered by his niggling shoulder injury he pushed Peter all the way only to lose narrowly 10-9.
2's Paul v Dave - Mr Table Tennis is renowned for having the most awkward game a going, but I was looking forward to this to exact some revenge for losing to him 4 years ago! The first game went according to plan, 9-0. The next two however were a lot closer, but ultimately went the same way and I completed a (fairly) comfortable 3-0 victory.
3's Dave v Andy - Dave was up against Maldon's laid back version of Wallace. Andy's got all the shots but comes across on the court as rather lazy! The first game went to Andy courtesy of some cracking volley's which rolled out the nick. However, Captain Fantastic pushed the youngster all the way in the 2nd game but couldn't convert his game balls and went 2-0 down. The 3rd game quickly followed and Andy wrapped up a 3-0 win.
5's Dan v Dan - Well this was like watching 2 clones battling it out! Both called Dan. Both young. Both cack handers. Both hit the ball far too hard. And both lined up sporting fashionable (gay) headgear! They may have looked like identical twins haring round the court but as the rallies unfolded it became apparent that Maldon's version was a little bit better than our prototype! Despite playing pretty well, our Dan could not quite match Maldon's Dan and eventually lost a good encounter 3-0.
And so Clements had completed the Perfect 10! Played 10, Lost 10. However, Dan's final rally had ended literally 30 seconds after Dave's final rally and so Dave promptly placed the blame for losing the match on Dan. Nothing like a bit of encouragement from your skipper!
4's Colin v Steve - So it was left to Colin to try and add some respectability to the final score. He started off playing some quality squash, but Steve's drop shots were keeping the scores level. The game eventually reached 8-8 and after a few more close rallies finally went the way of the former Liverpool player. This seemed to nark Colin and he became increasingly irritated as he lost the 2nd game too. A missed drop shot in the final game led to his frustrations reaching boiling point. He hurled his racket skyward and it crashed into the ceiling above, nearly taking our skippers head off in the process. When told to calm down from the balcony, this was met with a frosty reply of "**** off!"
Now with the wonders of modern technology we actually have this clip on phone video, but I'm still investigating how to upload it to this site! Stay tuned.....
And so with Colin's internal combustion, Maldon completed a 4-1 win and we were left wondering how on earth we went the whole season without a win. Damn those 3-2 defeats!
Results:
Chris lost to Peter Alexander 1-9 4-9 9-10
Paul beat Dave Newman 9-0 10-8 10-9
Dave lost to Andy Rhodes 4-9 8-10 3-9
Colin lost to Steve Nicol 8-10 5-9 1-9
Dan lost to Dan Matthews 3-9 6-9 3-9
Clements lost 1-4 (3-17) to Maldon
Still, relegation to the 3rd division throws up some more local rivalry and banter as it seems that (by some miracle! ;-)) our 3rd Team have managed promotion from Division 4 and will join us in the Autumn. If I could just quote here from their captain Bob
"……..…………..and with the end of the season in sight, the Clements 3rd team are like a pack of hungry wolves moving in for the kill, they can smell the blood that has been spilled and are full of anticipation for the next season when they may well be in division 3 facing a team that is inexplicably heading down the leagues faster than Southend united. They know when a team is out of their league and already anticipate a 5-0 thrashing. Dave at the Royal legion has already been booked to provide meat pie as the victors feast and cold buffet for the losers. Roll on Autumn let the battle begin!"
Game on......!!
1's Chris v Peter - Chris was always going to be up against it playing the World Champ. He was slow out of the blocks again, and the first two games passed by quickly. However, the third was much closer and despite still being hampered by his niggling shoulder injury he pushed Peter all the way only to lose narrowly 10-9.
2's Paul v Dave - Mr Table Tennis is renowned for having the most awkward game a going, but I was looking forward to this to exact some revenge for losing to him 4 years ago! The first game went according to plan, 9-0. The next two however were a lot closer, but ultimately went the same way and I completed a (fairly) comfortable 3-0 victory.
3's Dave v Andy - Dave was up against Maldon's laid back version of Wallace. Andy's got all the shots but comes across on the court as rather lazy! The first game went to Andy courtesy of some cracking volley's which rolled out the nick. However, Captain Fantastic pushed the youngster all the way in the 2nd game but couldn't convert his game balls and went 2-0 down. The 3rd game quickly followed and Andy wrapped up a 3-0 win.
5's Dan v Dan - Well this was like watching 2 clones battling it out! Both called Dan. Both young. Both cack handers. Both hit the ball far too hard. And both lined up sporting fashionable (gay) headgear! They may have looked like identical twins haring round the court but as the rallies unfolded it became apparent that Maldon's version was a little bit better than our prototype! Despite playing pretty well, our Dan could not quite match Maldon's Dan and eventually lost a good encounter 3-0.
And so Clements had completed the Perfect 10! Played 10, Lost 10. However, Dan's final rally had ended literally 30 seconds after Dave's final rally and so Dave promptly placed the blame for losing the match on Dan. Nothing like a bit of encouragement from your skipper!
4's Colin v Steve - So it was left to Colin to try and add some respectability to the final score. He started off playing some quality squash, but Steve's drop shots were keeping the scores level. The game eventually reached 8-8 and after a few more close rallies finally went the way of the former Liverpool player. This seemed to nark Colin and he became increasingly irritated as he lost the 2nd game too. A missed drop shot in the final game led to his frustrations reaching boiling point. He hurled his racket skyward and it crashed into the ceiling above, nearly taking our skippers head off in the process. When told to calm down from the balcony, this was met with a frosty reply of "**** off!"
Now with the wonders of modern technology we actually have this clip on phone video, but I'm still investigating how to upload it to this site! Stay tuned.....
And so with Colin's internal combustion, Maldon completed a 4-1 win and we were left wondering how on earth we went the whole season without a win. Damn those 3-2 defeats!
Results:
Chris lost to Peter Alexander 1-9 4-9 9-10
Paul beat Dave Newman 9-0 10-8 10-9
Dave lost to Andy Rhodes 4-9 8-10 3-9
Colin lost to Steve Nicol 8-10 5-9 1-9
Dan lost to Dan Matthews 3-9 6-9 3-9
Clements lost 1-4 (3-17) to Maldon
Still, relegation to the 3rd division throws up some more local rivalry and banter as it seems that (by some miracle! ;-)) our 3rd Team have managed promotion from Division 4 and will join us in the Autumn. If I could just quote here from their captain Bob
"……..…………..and with the end of the season in sight, the Clements 3rd team are like a pack of hungry wolves moving in for the kill, they can smell the blood that has been spilled and are full of anticipation for the next season when they may well be in division 3 facing a team that is inexplicably heading down the leagues faster than Southend united. They know when a team is out of their league and already anticipate a 5-0 thrashing. Dave at the Royal legion has already been booked to provide meat pie as the victors feast and cold buffet for the losers. Roll on Autumn let the battle begin!"
Game on......!!
posted by Hodgey at 1:12 PM
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