Match 4 - David Lloyd Home

The team were looking to get back on track after starting the season with three successive defeats, and there would have been no better way than to get one over local rivals David Lloyd! We were back to full strength with the return of our No.'s 1 & 2 Chris & Paul, and then further boosted by the news that David Lloyd were missing a couple of regulars too. It has to be said that David Lloyd were very prompt on their arrival - no doubt wanting to get into our bar bill as quick as possible! ;-)

And so the match got underway with the No.2's Paul v Del and the No.3's Dave v Simon. A hard fought first game with both players displaying good squash eventually went the way of Del. A change of pace in the 2nd game paid dividends for the Clements man though and soon the match was squared at 1-1. Paul started the 3rd in similar fashion with high lobs to the back of the court nullifying Del's speed at the front of the court but then the "wheels seemed to fall off his game" (aptly put afterwards by Ian!) and Del took the crucial 3rd game and then completed a 3-1 victory in a one sided 4th.

The other match was also turning into a close fought affair, with captain Dave trailing 2-1 after the first 3 games. Our skipper looked like forcing a decider as he forged 7-3 ahead in the 4th game, but Simon hung on in there and played some high quality shots and eventually sneaked the 4th and with it wrapped up a 3-1 win too. And so it was again that we found ourselves 2-0 down after 2 rubbers! Seeing as our strength lies in our lower order I really think we need to start playing our matches in the traditional reverse order!

Next matches on were the No.5's Dan v Wayne and the No.4's Colin v Dave. Now Dan is always entertaining to watch and we weren't disappointed this week either. Sporting some 'trendy' headgear he tore around the court in his usual style and took the first game. However, Wayne rallied (literally) in the second and started to cause Dan a few problems with some steady squash and the game reached 8-8. Dan, showing all the bravado of a cocky youngster, called set 1 and promptly lost the game 9-8! Doh! Nonetheless, he regained his concentration and after hitting some cracking drives and launching some Boris Becker style dives went on to claim a 3-1 victory and with it remain unbeaten for us.

Meanwhile Colin had shocked us all upon entering the court in that he wasn't wearing his trusted silver shoes! He had recklessly abandoned them in favour of a new pair of red and black ones. It certainly didn't have a detrimental effect on his squash though as he cruised to a powerful 3-0 victory over Dave. All that we were left to wonder was when he will be bringing his hair into line by colour co-ordinating it again and dyeing it red and black!

With that win secured, the match score was now level at 2-2 and so it was left for the No.1's Ian and Chris to determine the outcome of the match. Having played each other frequently in the past, it made for an entertaining match with some long rallies. But Ian, sporting headgear to rival Dan's in the 'trendy' department, ultimately built a commanding 2-0 lead. Chris fought back well in the 3rd and after bringing the score back to 1-2 there was still some hope of recording that elusive first win of the season. However, unsettled by his troublesome neck injury, he was unable to extend his opponent in the 4th and eventually succumbed to Ian's telling drop shots.

And so it turned out to be another keenly contested 2-3 defeat for Clements. Surely that first win is just around the corner...... hopefully at Maldon next week.

Results:
Chris lost to Ian 5-9 1-9 9-5 2-9
Paul lost to Dell 6-9 9-3 3-9 0-9
Dave lost to Simon 6-9 10-8 3-9 7-9
Colin beat Dave 9-0 9-2 9-2
Dan beat Wayne 9-5 8-9 9-5 9-5

Clements lost 2-3 (9-15) to David Lloyd

Match 3 - Writtle Home

This home match against Writtle was always going to be a tough ask for Clements without :
Our regular No. 1 Chris - late withdrawal after cranking his neck playing football on Saturday - it is a young person's game Chris, and you really should know better.
Our regular No. 2 Paul - Wife Lorraine's 30th B'day, so on some slushy meal out probably.
Our regular top order substitute Adrian - boat blew over in storms and needed fixing or something like that.
Our regular No. 5 Marcus - gone into retirement (and he's only young). In the end, his retirement lasted less than a week cos Skip was getting v. desperate to get a team out - thanks for playing Marcus.

So to the squash - the first matches on were No. 4s and 5s. Despite already having a game arranged at 8.30, Marcus agreed to play tonight at very short notice cos Skip was having trouble getting a team out. After encouraging starts in each of the first 2 games, Marcus couldn't maintain the form against a young competitive Jack from Writtle, going down 0-3. Many thanks again and hopefully you can now enjoy your retirement !

Meanwhile Dan Summers was off to a bad start against Mike, not only going 0-2 down, but also twisting his ankle during this period. Despite the initial pain, Dan manfully got up and played on without medical attention. He has either been to the "Bob Stone School of Feigning Injury", or the phrase "No sense, no feeling" springs to mind....! Anyway it worked a treat, because Dan turned the game on its head, winning the 3rd and 4th games in comprehensive style with a typical whirlwind performance, and despite a little nervous wobble in the 5th, secured an important win.

The No. 3s had got underway on the other court, with another Clements replacement Tony Draper up against Ian Worby. Similar to Marcus, Tony had also answered the desperate Skip's call, and played despite already playing at 7.10 ! Flabbergasted that he was then asked to play No. 3, Tony showed exactly why he was in his rightful position. His opponent used to be a top ranking player, but was desperately out of condition, and if ever there is a player to exploit such a weakness, Draper is your man. Tony managed to secure a tight 1st game 10/8, and then his persistent touch game of lob and drop asked far too much of the immobile Writtle player, winning 3 - 0.

So with Clements now 2 - 1 up in the match, it was obviously going to be an easy matter for the whole thing to be wrapped up at either No. 1 or 2.......Yeah right !
Colin was up against the experience and guile of Andy Russell at No. 2. Although Colin can be an awkward opponent, possessing a combination of good shots and a big arse, his opponent also has both these attributes and abit more. Colin tried valiantly, but went down 0 - 3.

Dave was up against Writtle's regular No. 1 Kris. The start of the first game went the way of Kris , but then Dave won 1 point, then another, then another.... till the score was 7 all. Dave saw potential glory ahead, but could not quite clinch the game. The second saw Dave take a well-earned breather, before again making Kris fight all the way in the 3rd. In the end, Kris won the match 3 - 0, but in truth, the Clements Skipper will look back and feel that the better player clearly did not win this contest; Kris had so many lucky nicks, and somehow appeared to scrape the tight drop-shots up......!!

Anyway, many thanks to both Tony and Marcus for playing at such short notice - true club members. The social afterwards was abit of a damp squib, with 2 players from each team getting an early night. The British Legion regulars didn't mind though when all the excess buffet was handed round.

Results:

Dave lost to Kris 7-9 0-9 7-9
Colin lost to Andy 3-9 4-9 7-9
Tony beat Ian 10-8 9-2 9-5
Marcus lost to Jack 4-9 4-9 1-9
Dan beat Mike 4-9 7-9 9-0 9-1 9-5

Clements lost to Writtle 2-3 (6-16)

Match 2 - Next Generation Away

Thanks to Captain Dave for this report as I was away for the weekend - I think the subs need to go up again! ;-)

The lead-up to this match had a couple of hitches with Marcus announcing his temporary retirement from Essex League; feeling fed up with the rush to arrive ontime at matches affecting his form, and therefore his general enjoyment of the game; let's hope a break from it all will induce some renewed enthusiasm in the near future. We were also without Paul who was off to Paris to celebrate Lorraine's 30th Birthday. As his Travel Agent and Team Captain, I think Dave/Gem Travel really should have checked the fixtures before allowing him to go.

Anyway, good substitutes in the form of Adrian Bunting and Bob Stone were brought in, and we arrived feeling reasonably confident of putting in a good performance and gaining a result. The Next Generation club was a lively place with many families and adults enjoying some Friday evening relaxation. Their squash team is the old b-----s from YMCA, so it was like renewing a few old acquaintances.

The first matches on were the No. 3s and 5s. Captain Dave immediately felt comfortable and confident on the rather strange sounding courts, and started to take control of the match. His opponent battled hard but could not get a foothold in any of the games, and with Dave working very hard in some long rallies, a 3 - 0 win was secured by the Clements man.

Meanwhile, Bob was taking on Kenny in a tough match that had already reached 2 - 2. The final game saw Bob start to flag abit and lose his length, resulting in a win to the home team to square the overall match score.

Then started the drama with the No. 2s and 4s. Adrian took on the tricky Colin at No.2, and soon found himself 2 - 0 down with some uncharacteristicly poor squash by his normally consistent standards. And with Colin 2 - 1 down and looking uncomfortable in his match against the equally awkward Rob who possessed great touch especially on the volley, it looked like the whole match was slipping away. However, anyone who has played Adrian knows that he never gives up without a fight, and he dragged himself back to 2 - 2, and with Colin finally finding some form to level his at 2 - 2, there were now 2 games on court that could settle the match either way. Despite fighting hard, Adrian could not maintain his comeback and seemed to run out of energy, losing the final game. Meanwhile Colin had pressed ahead and found himself 8-6 up with a match ball; he could not convert this, and also then seemed to run out of steam. The match was lost.

With the first 4 matches all being long affairs, Chris finally entered the fray having announced how hungry he was on arrival, and therefore still not eaten. He was up against the young Luke. The match was full of top quality squash, both players probably relaxed knowing the overall match outcome had been decided. Luke managed to take the first 2 games before Chris started to attack with more venom to secure the 3rd. He then suffered a stitch and could not compete sufficiently to take the match to the wire.

Overall, all 5 matches were full of good competitive squash with the results in the balance throughout.

Next Generation were very generous hosts plying us with drinks and a good chicken curry. Why had it taken this lot so long to break away from the Tea-total environment that was YMCA !?

Results:
Chris v Luke 1-3
Adrian v Colin 2-3
Dave v Scott 3-0
Colin v Rob 2-3
Bob v Kenny 2-3

Clements lost to Next Generation 10-17

Autumn 2006 Final Table

Well the Essex League have finally published the final tables for Autumn 2006. We finished in 4th place - not too bad I guess. I did notice that we didn't receive our marking points though. Our skipper is slipping - just can't the right people to do the job these days.....!

Match 1 - Ongar Home

After finishing mid-table in the Winter (I can't be any more precise than that cos the Essex League results site was last updated on the 25th November!) we kicked off our 3rd consecutive season in Division 2 with a home tie against old rivals Ongar. But for Colin luckily bumping into John on Sunday, this would have been another report moaning about a no show from Div 2 opponents as this game nearly didn't take place due to a blunder on our published match dates! Anyhow, Ongar duly arrived on time together with a few supporters in tow, and the match got underway.

The No.1's Chris v Malcolm, and No.2's Paul v Mark started proceedings. The warm ups didn't bode well as both Clements players snapped strings - looks like it'll be a busy time for Mr Wallace -, however when the matches got underway Paul started brightly and quickly took the first game. But Mark then raised his game to level at 1-1. During the mid game pep talk, Captain fantastic informed me that Chris was "2-0 up and cruising". Maybe this was going to be a break in tradition and we wouldn't actually be 2-0 down after 2 rubbers....? The 3rd game was rather one sided and the Ongar youngster took a 2-1 lead. And despite some compelling rallies, the 4th went the same way and Ongar were 1-0 up. Still, I was safe in the knowledge that "Chris was cruising" so we should soon be all square at 1-1. Or not as the case turned out. Chris was now locked at 2-2 with Malcolm and was far from cruising! In a highly entertaining decider, the lead changed hands several times until Chris levelled at 8-8, and then pushed to 9-8 to serve for the match. Malcolm's return went straight down the middle of the court with Chris standing right behind. A stone wall stroke if ever there was one, but Chris sportingly didn't take the match on a stroke and a let ball was played. Soon after though and Chris was wishing he had taken it as Malcolm fluked 2 cruel nicks to clinch the match. And unfortunately, once again, Clements were 2-0 down after 2 rubbers!

Next on were the No.3's Dave v Phil and the No.5's Marcus v John. Marcus was feeling under the weather, and had indeed almost pulled out of the match in the morning. However he battled boldly against John and the match was much closer than the 3-0 final scoreline suggested. With Marcus' defeat though, Ongar had assembled an unassailable 3-0 lead and we were destined to start our campaign with a loss. On the other court Dave was playing well and successfully chasing down Phil's drop shots. Dave then produced two trademark top spin backhand drops, much to the delight of the balcony, and soon led 2-0. Phil offered some resistance in the 3rd to narrow arrears to 2-1, but then a steady stream of errors from the Ongar player coupled with further good squash from Dave culminated in a solid victory for the Clements Skipper.

And so the No.4's Colin v Kevin were left to complete the match. A tight first game went the way of Colin. And then the silver haired maestro with the shiny silver shoes showed his true class, and his superior shot making and positional play enabled him to run out a comfortable 3-0 victor and with it put a more respectable look on the final match score. If only Purky had "cruised" all the way to the finish.....!

With our home night now switched back to Monday's, we avoided the clash with the bingo at the Legion. There were some odd post match topics discussed over the buffet. One of the strangest being the state of the new Sainsbury's car park at the Weir, where Dave had been caught for 30 minutes on Saturday afternoon amid a rush for Homebase's 10% off day. Colin aptly summed up the stampede with the matter of fact phrase of "bunch of pikey ******** trying to save a quid off a tin of paint!!" Classic. And Marcus will be pleased to know we are now boycotting Sainsbury's in favour of Tesco's!

Upon the departure of the final Ongar players it was time to settle the bar bill. Unfortunately we were caught short because the majority of our kitty had been spent on Colin's Cucumber Rifles (what the hell are they anyway?!?!) at the end of season curry before Christmas! However the Legion kindly allowed us 3 days credit and with that we sloped off into the night.

Results:
Chris lost to Malcolm McEwen 9-1 9-6 5-9 1-9 9-10
Paul lost to Mark McEwen 9-4 2-9 0-9 5-9
Dave beat Phil Wilkes 9-3 9-5 6-9 9-6
Colin beat Kevin Spencer 9-7 9-3 9-2
Marcus lost to John Faulds 3-9 6-9 3-9

Clements lost to Ongar 2-3 (9-15)