End Of Season Summary

Well what a turnaround in the second half of the season from Captain Dave. 5 out of 5 - can't be bad. See what putting yourself down the order can do?! So, Dave together with Marcus are our star performers this season. Special mention for Dan Summers too, who won both his games played. And of course thanks to all who stepped in and played for us. And finally the wooden spoon goes to none other than yours truly this season. Can I play No.5 after Christmas.....!

Match 10 - Redbridge Away

Our final match of the Autumn season presented us with the unenviable task of driving to East London once again, to face a Redbridge side destined for promotion to Division 1. Despite our car being packed with Club Champions from Sunday's finals night in the form of Paul, Dave and Adrian, our cause wasn't helped by the absence of No.1 Chris who was away on study leave.

I'd like to say the journey to Redbridge was a smooth one, but it turns out that Adrian's navigational skills are only slightly better than that of the legendary Marcus 'park in the wrong sports centre' Allan! So after a scenic voyage around some of the capital's back streets we arrived just in time to see Colin facing match ball in the contest of the No.3's versus Dave. However now that the support had turned up, Colin would surely stage a magnificent fight back and claim victory......... or maybe not and the first rubber went to the home side.

Next on were the No.2's Adrian v Dave and the No.4's Dave v Julian. Adrian started brightly and quickly took the first game. The second game turned into a bit of an epic struggle. When it finally reached 8-7 the serve changed hands several times as Adrian tried to take a commanding 2-0 lead, but Dave battled back to eventually level the match 1-1. Despite Adrian giving his usual 110% effort, Dave visibly upped his game and started to produce some crisp winners and ultimately ran out a 3-1 winner.

Meanwhile on the court next door, Captain Fantastic was hardly living up to his moniker and having a torrid time against Julian. Midway through the 2nd game, as another error came from Dave's racket, the cry of "Absolute piss-crap!" seemed to sum up perfectly his performance so far. Soon after Dave was 2-0 down and facing match point at 5-8 in the 3rd. However, he finally started to get the ball past his slow-moving opponent and fought back splendidly to reduce the arrears to 1-2. From then on there was only going to be one winner, and Dave completed an excellent comeback and won 3-2.

The final matches on were the No.1's Paul v Paul and the No.5's Marcus v Tom. I knew I was going to be in trouble when in an early exchange I hit what I thought were two winners in the same rally only to find myself retrieving from the back corner! Redbridge's No.1 was a formidable opponent and despite getting close in the 3rd game, his speed around the court and accuracy proved too much and he secured a convincing victory.

Marcus was finding the going similarly tough in his match against the tall Tom. The first two games went the way of the home player, but the third was a much tighter affair. With the score locked at 7-7, there was a feeling on the 'gallery' (well the 2 foot square space behind the courts) that if Marcus could just pinch it he would probably go on to win the match. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be and Tom wrapped up a 3-0 victory and with it a resounding 4-1 win for Redbridge.

Thankfully there was no talk of aging soap stars in the bar this week! Instead we were left to reflect on a semi-satisfying season. Our overall record of 4 wins and 6 losses is not too bad, and should hopefully be good enough to keep us up and have another crack at Division 2 after the break.

So until then, Merry Christmas to all. And don't eat and drink too much over the festive period.......... Yeah right!!

Results:
Paul v Paul 0-3
Adrian v Dave 1-3
Colin v Dave 0-3
Dave v Julian 3-2
Marcus v Tom 0-3

Clements lost to Redbridge 4-19

Match 9 - Writtle Home

Our penultimate match of the season saw as at home to Writtle. Marcus was otherwise engaged, so we secured the services of the lively Dan Summers once again.

Our opponents arrived in dribs and drabs, so the first matches on were the No.1's Chris v Kris and the No.3's Colin v Jack. The two Chris' started off at a frantic pace, as they did in the first half of the season, and the way the ball was flying round the court you'd never have guessed it was a cold December night outside. However, the younger Kris was slightly quicker round the court and raced into a 2-0 lead. Chris was complaining of a sore neck from football, and blisters on his fingers from all the studying he'd been doing(!), and offered little resistance in the 3rd and the first rubber went to Writtle.

On court No.2, Colin was playing some excellent squash and in a keenly contested first game he edged it 9-6. The 2nd game continued in similar fashion and again the silver haired Clements veteran just nicked it, this time 10-9. However, those first two games seemed to take their toll and his younger opponent rallied, retrieved and pressurised Colin into mistakes to level the match at 2-2. Unfortunately, there was no magic left in Colin's spaceage shoes and he became increasingly frustrated as Jack took the decider. And once again, we found ourselves in the familiar position of being 2-0 down after 2 rubbers! (This is becoming a stock phrase in these reports!)

Next on were the No.5's Dan v Bill and the No.4's Dave v Mike. Dan was making his second appearance for the team and quickly got into his attacking stride. Now watching Dan play squash is rather entertaining at times as he storms round the court in similar fashion to a whirlwind! But his hard hitting approach and quickness around the court was working perfectly and he quickly obtained a 2-0 advantage. However Bill changed his game in the 3rd and together with some unforced errors from Dan, it was now a much tighter contest. Indeed it reached 8-8 and Dan scowled up at the balcony for what seemed like an eternity before calling "set one". This backfired somewhat, as Bill clinched the next point and thus the game. It became apparent afterwards that Dan's was after some advice about whether to call 1 or 2. So here's your advice for next time, "If calling 'set one' don't bury your return in the tin"!!! Anyway, regardless of this minor setback, Dan went on to claim the 4th game to love and secure the win 3-1.

Meanwhile on the other court Dave, promoted up the order again at No.4, was in full swing and swiftly won the first game 9-1. A lack of concentration allowed his opponent back into the game though and it was levelled at 1-1. Dave quickly refocused and re-established his lead on the back of a 9-0 3rd game. And although the 4th game went right to the wire, Captain Fantastic always had enough in reserve and ran out a deserved winner and with it the overall match score was levelled at 2-2.

And so it was left to the No.2's Paul v Andy to decide the outcome of the match. In a hard fought contest, the lead changed hands frequently throughout the opening two games. Good shots were played by both players, and the match was delicately poised at 1-1. The 3rd game carried on in the same vein until some questionable shot delaying tactics by the Writtle player resulted in strokes being awarded to him. This clearly unsettled Paul, and despite fighting to the end there were too many errors coming from the Clements player and it was Andy who clinched the decisive rubber 3-1. And with it Writtle won the match 3-2.

It was a late finish so by the time we arrived at the Legion we had missed the last bit of bingo action! However, the post match banter somehow got around to the subject of Pauline Fowler! Don't ask me how. Anyway it soon became apparent that when she was in Are You Being Served both Dave and Colin used to, err let's just say, find her attractive! Eugh! How disgusting! Pauline Fowler!?! But then to my horror this opinion was met with agreement from young Dan. You stupid boy! (this was a phrase uttered frequently in relation to Dan last night!) So anyway, here as a special pre Christmas treat just for you guys is Miss Brahms in all her glory!



Results:
Chris v Kris 0-3
Paul v Andy 1-3
Colin v Jack 2-3
Dave v Mike 3-1
Dan v Bill 3-1

Clements lost to Writtle 9-16