Match 8 - Maldon Home

After two consecutive wins in recent weeks Match 8 pitted us against Maldon, one of the stronger teams in the division and sure to provide a stern test. Team news wasn't favourable for us in that our No.1 Chris was missing and we expected Maldon to bring their World champion Peter Alexander. However we were able to call on the services of Adrian once more, so we still had a good strength throughout our order.

The action was soon underway with the No.2's Adrian v Dave and the No.3's Colin v Andy commencing proceedings. 'Mr Table Tennis' immediately got into his stride and started reeling off awkward looking, but extremely effective, drop shots with unerring precision. Adrian gamely chased them down and the first game went right to the wire, but eventually went the way of the Maldon player. The match continued in similar fashion, with Adrian's dogged determination keeping him in contention, however Dave's accuracy finally took it's toll and he wrapped up the match 3-0.

In the other match, it was a contrast in styles and a clash in apparel. Colin's traditional squash up against the talented exuberance of youth. However, the difference in footwear couldn't have been wider! Colin donned his shiny new silver trainers which looked like they had come straight from the set of the last Star Wars movie; whilst I'm amazed Andy's feet didn't fall through the gaping holes at the front of his shoes. In the match itself though, it was Colin who was dazzled by Andy's fine shot making and fast court coverage. It appeared as though Colin didn't believe he could trouble his younger opponent which was a shame because it could have been a much closer encounter. As it was though Andy won an entertaining match 3-0. And once again we were in the familiar position of being 2-0 down after two rubbers!

Next on court were the No.1's Paul v Peter and the No.5's Dave v Dan. Now there was a slight gulf in class between Peter and myself but I was looking forward to the challenge! I led the first game throughout until Peter stole it 9-1 in the end (you do the maths!). Then in the 2nd I produced the "shot of the night" according to Marcus. I managed to force a rare loose midcourt shot out of Peter and was determined not to let the opportunity pass me by. I stepped into it a cracked a backhand cross court which struck the side wall nick and rolled across the floor! Have it! To be fair, Peter probably could have played this shot at any time but he was content with just rallying me round the court and not making any mistakes. In an expected one sided affair, Peter ultimately ran out a comfortable 3-0 winner and Maldon took an unassailable lead in the match.

Meanwhile on the other court Dave was relishing his new found confidence at No.5 and was involved in an exciting clash with Dan. Similar to Colin's match earlier this was another contrast in styles with our experienced skipper playing his usual steady game up against his youthful opponents mix of good drives and well disguised drop shots. The first two games were shared, and then the next two also to leave the match delicately poised at 2-2. In the decider, Captain Fantastic raised his game just enough to edge out Dan and claim his third consecutive victory. Funny what a change in the order does!

The final game on were the No.4's Marcus v Sean. This proved to be a compelling affair with some outrageously long rallies. Both players were playing shots that the other could only just reach to return! However, the key points were going against the Clements man and he found himself 2-0 down. But in the 3rd Marcus stepped up a gear and it appeared he sensed a way back in to the match. He duly claimed the 3rd and raced to a healthy lead in the 4th. However, he couldn't quite force a decider and Sean triumphed 3-1 in an energetic clash with gave Maldon an emphatic 4-1 win.

The buffet was up to it's usual high standard and, despite being a man short, we made excellent inroads into it for once. This was largely down to Maldon having two ravenous teenagers in their midst who went back for 3rd, 4th and 5th helpings! It also became apparent that Dave's opponent Dan receives weekly coaching from Dave Wyman. Our captain took great delight in this and muttered something like "What a waste of money that is!". The final mention has to go to Colin' trainers though. They may not have helped him on the squash court, but he clearly thinks they are the nuts - as he wore them up to Legion too! They seemed to have the desired effect however because as he left he received admiring glances from three female octogenarians. Not sure if it was his silver trainers or his silver hair that was the attracting factor though......!

Results:
Paul v Peter 0-3
Adrian v Dave 0-3
Colin v Andy 0-3
Marcus v Sean 1-3
Dave v Dan 3-2

Clements lost to Maldon 4-19

Match 7 - Woodford Wells Away

Thanks again to our Captain Fantastic for doing the write up...

The lead up to this match saw the withdrawal of Clements' No.2 Paul because of an Accountancy exam, and newly promoted No.3 Colin because his darling wife has to go to Aerobics on a Wednesday evening, leaving Colin to look after his other 2 little darlings (while watching Champions League no doubt) ! Substitutes were found in the shape of Daryl Amos and Dan Summers with the latter also not sure about playing up to the last minute because of a heavy cold.

So on arriving promptly at Woodford Wells after speedy journeys round the M25, it was encouraging to see their Captain on his mobile ringing round to finalise his team after one of his team had pulled out at the last moment, unable to get out of London because of problems on the Central Line.

The match got under way with the No.1s (Lee and Chris) renewing their recent rivalry which has seen close matches go either way. This encounter was to be no different with both players cracking hard drives, interspersed with boasts and lobs providing finesse. The first game went narrowly to Clements' Chris 10-8, with Lee nicking the second by the same score. The third proved critical with Chris just upping his desire to chase the game at the right moment, and continued in the same vein to close out a good quality match 3-1.

Meanwhile the No.4s had started and finished a rather one-sided affair which saw Clements' Daryll outplayed by the experienced Mark. The Clements sub struggled with the solid hitting of Mark, and could not force himself infront of his opponent to execute enough of his trademark drops. 3-0 to Woodford Wells

The match which followed this one also proved rather one-sided in favour of the home team. It saw Clements' Marcus being pitched in at No.2, having been moved up the order from 5, against the seasoned and awkward regular No.2 from Woodford Wells, Dave. Marcus did not do himself justice and showed little of the recent form that has seen him record good wins in earlier matches. His opponent was always too strong, and Marcus could not get any rhythm going, playing too loosely. Maybe his mind was distracted with his wife Maria in the bar waiting to take him home. Again 3-0 to Woodford Wells.

Clements then pitched Dan Summers into his debut for the team at No.5 against Dave who was the late substitute for Woodford. Dave proved a useful stop-gap player, normally playing in the 4th team, and with Dan shaking off the effects of his illness, the first game swung in favour of each player at different moments. Dan played his customary free-flowing style, with some stylish winners interspersed with mistakes. The close first game went the way of the Clements player 9/7 though. This seemed to give Dan a boost, and deflated Dave; the second game was won comfortably 9-0 by Dan, and although the third game was again tight, Dan secured a 3-0 win to bring the overall match score to 2 rubbers each.

There was a slight delay in proceedings while we waited for the Woodford No.3 Nick to arrive - also caught up in commuter problems getting out of London. He was up against the Clements skipper Dave in the deciding match. Dave finally seemed to have shaken off his recent poor form, and started to dominate the game with a cool, composed approach which yielded very few mistakes. This frustrated Nick, and although there were some keenly contested rallies during the match, it was always the Clements player that kept the upper hand, winning 3-0.

A strange match therefore went 3-2 to Clements. The effect of both teams having to bring in substitute players lead to 4 out of the 5 matches being won/lost 3-0, with only the No.1s producing an evenly fought encounter.

Despite winning without Paul and Colin in the team, it will probably be necessary to re-instate them for the next matches to reverse the results against the stronger teams to come.

Results:
Chris v Lee 3-1
Marcus v Dave 0-3
Dave v Nick 3-0
Daryll v Mark 0-3
Dan v Dave 3-0

Clements beat Woodford Wells 14-7

Match 6 - Connaught Home

So after an ok first half to the season, we were raring to get the second half underway and hopes were high for a repeat victory against a Connaught side whom we had beaten earlier in the campaign. The team were in good shape, although half of them were still recovering from a drunken trip to the Brush on Saturday night!

The evening got off to a bizarre beginning as there were three fire engines and some police cars in the Clements Hall car park. We enquired as to what the commotion was and were told that someone had put dye in the pool the evening before and they were checking the water for traces of chemicals.

So up to the courts we went, but there was no sign of our opponents. This was not unusual though as it is not uncommon for teams from London to be a few minutes late. What was unusual though was to see two members of our 1st team, Paul & Dan, there saying they had a home game too. Paul had even been conscientious enough during the day to phone ahead and check that the courts were booked for Essex league that evening - to which of course the reply from reception had been a resounding "yes". Shame he didn't check for which team though...!

Ten more minutes passed, and with still no sign of Connaught arriving we were beginning to wonder whether our home game curse from last season was going to return. A phone call to their captain didn't inspire us with confidence either as it was met by an answerphone message. When it finally got to half past eight it finally confirmed our fears that it was going to be a wasted evening.

Colin and Marcus took the opportunity to play their league game, which Colin won convincingly 3-0. A somewhat surprising result considering he had been on the wrong end of a 27-0 thrashing pummeling hammering beating trouncing (couldn't decide which adjective was best!) on Saturday against another of our team.... mentioning no names! ;-)

With the early finish on the courts we arrived at the Legion ahead of schedule and the bingo was still in full swing! So we were ushered upstairs instead, and with the absence of the away team, were faced with a mountainous buffet. Thankfully, Paul and Dan had stuck around to help us out with it (maybe that was their plan all along....!) and we managed to get through the majority of it. There was still plenty left though and Chris, Dave and I all bagged ourselves some lunch for the next day! Apart from commentating on our dismay at the absence of our opponents, the main focus of the evening banter centered on the events leading to the Fire Brigade being called upon. News had travelled fast, and in true Chinese whispers style Wallace had told his Dad that someone had actually died in the pool the night before!

And with that it was time to head for home, 20 points safely in the bag; albeit not the way we would have wanted. We have since been informed today that the Connaught captain was returning from overseas and had failed to inform the rest of the team that they had a match! What can you do.....?

Mid Season Summary

And it's Marcus who is our star man so far. Maybe that order was upside down after all..... !

Match 5 - Redbridge Home

A big thanks to Captain Dave for providing this report seeing as I was otherwise engaged....

A bit of a setback to this match came over the weekend when Hodgey announced he had been handed a match ticket to Southend's "must-see" match against mighty M U. He couldn't resist the offer, especially as he hadn't even had to queue up for it, or pay on the black market like everyone else. (Edit – my “mate” Pricey was exactly that and did charge me over the odds actually!)

On the night, the first major bonus was not only did Redbridge turn up, but that they were there early.

The match started with No 5's - Tony vs Qamar Jillani, and No 3's - Colin vs Tom Smith(my last victim in an Essex League match way back in January...!?).
Reports had come through via Colin that Draper had been in fairly awesome form the night before, and this coupled with the fact that Qamar had not played for some time, led to a one-sided and easy victory for the home team 9/4 9/4 9/3. Tony's reverse drop-shot from the back of the court proved something of a mystery to his opponent throughout the encounter (we've all been there). So Tony proved his usual worth as a trusted substitute.
On the other court, a hard fought encounter was unfolding between Colin and Tom. Both players were working very hard. The rangey Tom retrieving well from back and front, and Colin producing positive shot-making; the latter tactic proved more beneficial in these early exchanges and Colin found himself 8/5 up. He then lost faith in his attacking play, retreated into a more cautious mode and allowed the game to slip away. After losing the first few points of the 2nd game, Colin never competed and lost it to love. Colin, however, has been playing well recently, and he wasn't about to give up his 100% record easily. He rallied to win the third with a resumed positive approach, but Tom's dogged play together with a subtle boast was draining Colin's energy, and he went down 3-1 (8/10 0/9 9/6 4/9).

Meanwhile the No 4's had kicked off with Marcus taking on Phil Roberts. Phil's style was one of elaborate shot-making, in contrast to Marcus's steadiness, and the first 2 games were closely contested to leave the contest 1 - 1. Marcus continued to play good quality squash from then on, and coupled with what was later diagnosed as a "stitch" suffered by Phil, ran out a convincing winner. (7/9 9/6 9/0 9/1). So Clements found themselves with a 2 - 1 advantage in the match. Unfortunately, that was to be the high point of the evening.

Without our regular No 2, the second string was always going to be a tough nut to crack for an out-of-form Dave against Adam Howell. The Clements Captain tried to lull his opponent into a false sense of security with a laid back approach, but the Redbridge man was too strong and experienced, easing to a comfortable 3 - 0 win (1/9 3/9 2/9).
Feeling a bit despondent after coming off court, Dave was immediately made to feel a bit better with the news that Chris at No 1 had actually succeeded in winning 4 less points than his own pathetic total of 6; I'll leave you to work out the Maths and the one-sided nature of the contest against Paul Blom. Chris was completely downcast when he came off, and we actually thought he had gone home when nobody saw him in the changing room afterwards. He later put his performance down to a stressful workload - and I thought he was only an accountant!

And so to the drinks and food. We actually converged on Clements Hall "bar" to take in the final minutes of the drama unfolding at Roots Hall where Southend were edging towards "The Result" of their history by beating Man Utd 1 - 0 in a Carling Cup tie. The room which usually has all the atmosphere of an empty aircraft hangar, was very excitable with alternate moments of nervous tension as Man Utd launched desperate late attacks and loud cheers of relief as each one was repelled.

The British Legion was also still crammed to the rafters when we arrived. Eventually a few folk left and we could enjoy the usual sumptuous array of buffet offerings. Redbridge couldn't believe their eyes at the quantities and range put before them. A friendly evening although obviously not the result hoped for, albeit against unbeaten opponents.

Results:
Chris v Paul 0-3
Dave v Adam 0-3
Colin v Tom 1-3
Marcus v Phil 3-1
Tony v Qamar 3-0

Match score - Clements (7 points) lost to Redbridge (15) by 3 ties to 2.

Match 4 - Writtle Away

So match 4 presents us with another away tie, this time a trip to Writtle. On the morning of the match, the team is rocked by the news that Mr 100%, Colin, has a slight strain and is unable to play. Now we were (and still are) unsure of what he'd actually strained but we came to the conclusion that it must have been his wrist........ However, I'm sure he still managed to use the remote control and watch Chelsea v Barcelona last night whilst he recovered.....! Anyway, we called in a more than able replacement in the form of Adrian and so we were all on our best behaviour as we made our way to the college.

Upon arrival we were immediately ordered onto court! The first matches on were the No.2's Paul v Andy and the No.3's Adrian v Richard. In a keenly contested opening game, the lead changed hands several times and then, despite a dodgy let call going against me at 8-8, I managed to take it 10-8. The next two games were rather one sided and Andy took a 2-1 lead. I battled gamely in the 4th and indeed got to 6-2 up, but with too many errors creeping into my game I couldn't force a decider and Writtle took a 1-0 match lead. On the other court a thrilling encounter was developing and Adrian gained a 2-1 advantage. He then swept into an 8-0 lead in the 4th and looked destined to claim victory. However Richard dug deep and playing some fine squash managed to claw his way back and set up a 5th game. This decider was another tight affair but in the end Richard just edged it and we found ourselves in the now familiar position of being 2-0 down after 2 matches.

The next games on were the 1's Chris v Kris and the 4's Marcus v Ian. Chris started off in determined fashion and took an early 1-0 lead. The squash was high quality throughout with both players displaying some fine shotmaking and good retrieval skills, but the younger Kris soon leveled the match 1-1. The third game was pivotal and Chris looked to be finally wearing down Kris with his cleverly disguised boast. However, it wasn't to be and the home player took a 2-1 lead. The 4th game continued in a similar manner until Kris eventually wrapped up a rousing match, 3-1. And with it, we had our 2nd defeat of the season. Meanwhile in the other match, Marcus made a sluggish start and quickly raced into a 0-8 deficit! He clawed his way back to 6-8 and it looked as though we were going to see our second miraculous comeback of the evening. Unfortunately, he couldn't sustain it and Ian took the 1st game, but it was clear to see that Marcus had found his range as he quickly got back on level terms at 1-1. Marcus lead again at 8-4 in the 3rd but Ian battled back to 8-8. With memories of last week still fresh, when Marcus narrowly lost a vital 3rd game after calling Set 1, there were groans on the balcony as he called "one" again! But this time it worked out nicely and he went on to wrap up a solid 3-1 win.

In the final match, the No.4's Dave and Ian went head to head. "Captain fantastic" simply couldn't get his trademark textbook (boring!) squash going up and down the walls. He rarely threatened and was comfortably beaten in straight sets. Later on it turned out that Ian had once played at a high standard, so no real disgrace in Dave picking up another defeat, although at the moment it appears as though he would struggle to beat an egg!

So all in all, it was a bit of a Halloween horror showing from us as we slumped to a successive 4-1 defeat. Let's hope we can get back on track next week when we welcome Redbridge, if they can find our place this time.....

Results:
Chris v Kris 1-3
Paul v Andy 1-3
Adrian v Richard 2-3
Dave v Ian 0-3
Marcus v Mike 3-1

Clements lost to Writtle 7-18